What’s Love; Baby (Hurt) Me.

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What’s it like to love someone so much it hurts? What’s it like to love someone? I have read about it enough you would think I’d know. I know what sex feels like….with and without feeling….fourced and not forced. I know what  passion feels like in its varied extremes. I know what pain is…REAL PAIN….PHYSICAL. I know both the kindness and brutality of humanity…but love? I have been loved; however, I do not think it counts if it is not reciprocated. How do my favorite wordsmiths write about it. Is it as allusive, mysterious, and fictional as the boogiemonster? Does it hit you like the crack of a bone; or, creep up on you like a summer storm. Either way I am willing to give it a shot…even if it ends in my destruction.
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People Are…

People are the worst eviI. I Frigging LOVE it when “friends” find out out how broken and scared you really are and then leave you as though trauma were contagious. You cannot catch rape and beatings…but two days ago you were all about trying to fuck me or chill with me and borrow my threads. Now I do not exist. Y’all are BEAUTIFUL.

Harriet the Spy Part Deux

I was very close to spitting my bubblegum in my father’s hair today–or rather what little hair he has left. I am at my wits end with his egotism, anger, cruelty, manipulation, hatred, and general maliciousness. He peppers it with acts of appeasement– like any great dictator. However, a woman/girl with a fiery Irish fury trapped in the vortex of the emotional maturity of a 15-year-old can take only so much. Thus, my desire to enact a vengeance worthy of my favorite prepubescent girl detective Harriet the Spy. If y’all will recall she spat her gum in the hair of her former bff Janie’s hair. That was to be my plan of attack until I realized that I am the only person who chews bubblegum. While it is ideal that the target of one’s vengeance know that he/she is being punished for wickedness…you should not be caught in your own gummy mess. For now, it is back to the drawing boards.

What’s better than sassy: answer Not much!

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Sassy App Punishes You When You’re Being Lazy – Take heed, procrastinators: A new app rewards and punishes users based on how many items they check off on their to-do lists. Promoted as “the world’s first to-do list with a personality,” Carrot aims to encourage productivity, but is more entertaining than motivating. Each time users complete a task, they are rewarded with points, which they can later redeem for prizes (including gifts, compliments, jokes and quotes). In r… http://ow.ly/2vamxJ

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Personably Personable

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 In that moment, I looked up at my brother, a man I have loved and trusted and respected for as long as I can remember, and he looked just like Michael, my ex. His eyes were filled with desperation, confusion, hate, sorrow, banality, love, anger, loss, alcohol, and all of the self-loathing in the world—and he stopped being my big brother. His face was Michael’s face when he was high and drunk and mean. Reliving his days in boot camp—angry at the world– itching for a fight—and finding nobody but me around. I wasn’t sure if my big brother had always had Michael’s face or if Michael had always had his face; but, I hated that face. I didn’t hate Michael–I never loved him to hate him. Even through the abuse and the insanity I never hated him. But, I hated that face as it transformed in front of me. 

   And, in that moment, I realized that my counselor is right. I have no idea what a healthy relationship is. I cannot tell the difference between a healthy relationship and an abusive one. And, no…even if I’m not being hit…that does not mean that I’m in a healthy relationship. 

    …that face makes me shrink into myself…

Doctor’s Orders

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It’s amazing how popular culture can influence fashion trends. It is especially fascinating how a show as iconoclastic and irreverent as Doctor Who can be reborn (and reborn and reborn, and reborn one more time) and brings about the rebirth of the bow tie. Even still we see this staple of men’s fashion vaulting out of the obscurity, the shadows of only being found in the Haberdashery to being everywhere—big department stores right on down to T.J. Maxx. The best part of it all is that Doctor Who is not one of those tedious prime time, gentrified, Americanized, shows that every frat boy and sorority sister watches with a drinking game. It is largely considered to be a: “Nerd” show. And yet, the Doctor and his fashion forward style is transcending the Comics and heading straight to GQ. I doubt Dr. McDreamy would be able to pull that off.

      The Doctor says: “Bow ties are cool;” and thus, bow ties are cool. I shall not be surprised when I see men strutting about NYC in fezzes. Because: ”It’s a Fez, I wear a Fez now, Feze’s are cool;” and, the Doctor is never wrong. ImageImageDoctorsImage

I have a HUGE amount of respect for Catherine, Caffeinated. I absolutely do. She is a brilliant wordsmith; offers insightful advice; and, never bores. However, I am SO NOT in agreement with her list of the 100 greatest movies. What do y’all think. It’s going to take me a spot to compile my own list. I have to choose between Dirty Dancing and The Lost Boys for the number 1 slot…

CATHERINE RYAN HOWARD

It’s Friday! So let’s set aside the self-publishing stuff for a second and do something fun.

On Wednesday Nathan Bransford posted his personal list of 100 Favorite Movies and challenged others to do the same. Now as you all know I never met a procrastination activity I didn’t like, and I love movies as much as I love books (well, almost…), so today I’m posting my list.

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One hundred movies sounds like a lot, and will seem like a lot when you first start trying to think of all your favorite films. You’ll enlist the help of friends and family, look up Best Picture nominees on Wikipedia and frantically browse your DVD collection. But soon you’ll be saying, “Oh! How could I forget that?” and “But what about—?’ and “I feel like there was something else amazing he was in too…” and then suddenly you’re up to 149…

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I like her! So worth the read!

CATHERINE RYAN HOWARD

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This week I read a really interesting interview with Gillian Flynn’s agent, Stephanie Rostan, about whether or not social media sells books.

Gillian Flynn, if you’re not familiar, is the author of the fantastic Gone Girl, frequent topper of bestseller lists worldwide and soon to be a movie David Fincher is rumored to be directing and Flynn herself is currently writing the screenplay for. (She’s also the author of Sharp Objects and Dark Places, which are even better than Gone Girl, I think.) According to Publishers Weekly, Flynn was one of the top 3 bestselling authors in the US last year, but she neither tweets nor blogs, and although her website looks cool, it’s only occasionally updated with book news and events.

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